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DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in life.
There are two very different kinds of needs that people have while moving.
First there are the transactional needs, like finding the home that is
just right for them, finding a seller who is realistic, negotiating the
price, filling out the paperwork, handling the escrow, and arranging for
the move. But there are also emotional needs that are involved when moving,
and this is where the biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent will
handle the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs are
unfulfilled, you'll be frustrated and may not act in your own best interests.
The ideal real estate agent is one, who is competent with paperwork and
numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional
ups and downs of moving. Here are the six best ways we've found to beat
the stress.
- Begin with the end in mind. Have an ultimate scenario
of where you're trying to be. What will life be like when you get there?
How will it be better than where you are now? Dwell on that picture
and write it out, fill up at least a page about how it feels in the
new place. This is imperative. Having the goal in front of you at all
times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and frustrations.
Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. You too must focus on
that future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.
- Be flexible. In your monetary calculations, overestimate
by a thousand dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract
acceptance and closing. It could be the inspections reveal areas of
concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or the repair costs are
higher than the amount limited in the contract. Or the interest rate
changes which affects the necessary down payment and closing costs you
will need to come up with. As your real estate team, we will strive
to tie up loose ends as quickly as possible, but remember there is no
perfect world. Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new
mortgage and the responsibilities of a new home. We've seen many buyers
get angry when it seems like the cost just keeps going up. Anger is
caused when reality doesn't match up with the expectations you had in
your mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you won't
get angry. In fact, it'll probably go better than you expected.
- Trust in the process. There's just so much to do,
it's easy to panic. You wonder if it will ever work out. In fact, when
we bought our house, we couldn't eat for a day, we felt sick to our
stomachs! You think you're taking a big chance, but the truth is you're
giving yourself a big chance. Even though you can't see every step of
the way, as you move towards your goals, the way opens up. We know that
you haven't moved in a long time and it's a major upheaval in your life.
But we've been there many times before, and we'll be looking out for
you. Trust that we know the way to get you there.
- Get knowledge. One thing you'll probably feel during
this transition time is being out of control. It feels like everyone
else has taken over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser,
the inspectors, they all have the power to say yes or no to your moving
plans. We'll try our best to let you know ahead of time what your expenses
will be, and what the unknowns are. We'll tie down the loose ends as
soon as possible. We'll try to get your loan approved within a reasonable
time frame. We'll educate you as best we can and let you in "behind
the scenes" so you won't ever feel stupid or out of control.
- What is your option? When things don't go as smoothly
as you had hoped, don't let emotions take over. Always ask yourself
"What is my option?" because there are always options. Let's pretend
the lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps
asking you for more and more documentation until it feels like he also
needs to know how many gold fillings you have in your mouth! You feel
upset because you wanted to feel certain about the move and now you
still have to live with the uncertainty. You want to say "Forget it,
I'm fed up with this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and
start the process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have
to provide all the paperwork all over again. If the lender is trying
his best, it may be better to give him a few more days. Each case is
unique, but when setbacks occur we've found that asking yourself this
question helps to defuse the situation and restore clear headed thinking.
- Seek entertainment. When there's nothing you can
do about the situation, take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you
expected loan approval on Friday, but now it won't come until Monday.
You hate being in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something else
entirely, maybe something where you aren't powerless. Take a hike, play
tennis, get out of town for the day, watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself
into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you, now would be
a good time to engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse to
listen to those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think
about something else instead and just take it one day at a time. To
keep stress to a minimum, here's how we'll serve you when you work with
us in buying your new home:
- we promise not to take your business for granted
- we will inform you of your options
- we will give you our best-reasoned expert counsel and advice with
your best interests in mind
- we will clarify your goals and motivation, so that you can decide
if moving is the wisest choice at this time
- we will provide recommendations and information to help your kids
through all the changes
- we will negotiate effectively for you to get the lowest possible
price for your new home
- we will protect your interests during escrow, keeping a detailed
record of the transaction
- we will be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve when
the stress is overwhelming
- we will counsel you through the feelings of "buyer's remorse"
j) we will alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel
more in control
- we will contact you daily during the last 10 days of the transaction
to serve your needs
- we will provide guidance and help with movers, change of address,
utilities shut off, cleaning, etc.
- we will continue to give you information of value after the transaction...
for life.
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